MommyWeighLess

Yesterday marked the 2 month anniversary since John passed away. That is eight weeks since we held him last...            ... 60 days since we saw him last...               ... 1,464 hours since we had our last kiss...                  ... 87,840 minutes since we held you close...                     ... 5,270,400 seconds of complete and utter heart break. It feels like an eternity. It is all still so unreal. I spent the day with Angela yesterday, just she and I. It was a really nice day considering where we have landed in life. We had a wonderful lunch together, did a ton of laundry, and just enjoyed each other's company. Angela lives with our parents, and they decided to go on a day trip, leaving her home alone yesterday. She is fine to be alone, but no one realized that it was the 2 month anniversary. It...

I recently wrote a post about how I have changed since having a son , but what I didn't talk about was the amazing person my little guy is growing up to be. Evan will be 2 years old in a couple of weeks. I don't even know where the time has gone. All I know is that it flew by... way too quickly . And I also know that is one of the most over used cliches by every parent in the world, that times fly. But it honestly does. I feel like we were just trying to get pregnant with Evan; that we had just decided that Scarlett needed a sibling, and we wanted to try, our last try, for a boy. Thankfully that is who we got, because boy or girl... this was it . I hope that as my son grows, he will grow to be a good man like his father and grandfather before him. You can read about those amazing men here and here ! They have been exemplary in teaching Evan what a good man is and how one conducts himself. Even if he is only two, I hope that some of the things they are showing hi...

My sweet little Scarlett Rose turned four a couple of weeks ago. My sweet little Scarlett Rose started Pre-K on Monday. My sweet little Scarlett Rose started showering all by herself. My sweet little Scarlett Rose now puts herself to bed at night. My sweet little Scarlett Rose.. .please so down ...you are growing up way too fast! Mommy can't pick up the pieces of my heart quick enough to keep up anymore. Becoming a parent is amazing. But being a parent sucks... a lot . It is like we go from holding these beautiful little bundles of baby goodness that rely on you for every. single. tiny. thing ...to BOOM! ...little persons all their own that don't require your services anymore. Tossed to the trash like a used tissue. But I love that feeling. Confusing, right? I know. You should... or could ...be in my shoes. I love seeing her blossom into this amazing person. I love that she is hard headed and independent. Those things will take her so far in this life. I lo...

I am a mother . I have two absolutely beautiful, amazing, full of life and wonder...toddlers. Scarlett is vivacious. She is a red-headed spitfire with a daily goal of trying to argue her father and I into oblivion. And Evan...well he is a person all his own too. He spends his days climbing, toddling, falling, yelling, hitting, playing, eating...and well...he is just a very busy little man. After a 10 hour work day, I come home to these marvelous little creatures., and I look forward to it all day. But once I am actually home, and chasing those little tyrants...I often have selfish thoughts. I have seen and heard enough to assume that most parents do. It is only natural to want to do things, or have things just for yourself. Yet, being a mother, when I do want to do things, or have things (even just alone time)...I feel incredibly guilty for it. You are taught from a young age that when you "grow up" and have children, that you are supposed to sacrifice and do ...

Ever been so tired that it feels like your eyelids are sand paper...and with each blink you lose another layer of moisture...? Toothpicks just are not enough to hold these steel doors that keep slamming together on my face. Yea . That's me today. Monday. Hope I don't nod off. *Startles awake* No... I was not snoring. Just checking that my nasal passages are clear. Ugh. Monday. Have I said that yet? I decided that it would be a great idea to stay up until three this morning. But now, I am really questioning my abilities to make good decisions...                                                ...especially when I know that I have to get up for work at six! I have never felt more inclined to the saying "Old enough to know better." My body is screaming for sleep. I wonder if I could sign up for a sleep study today? Will they give doctors notes...

I have recently returned to work after taking about a year off to stay home with my babies again. I work in an office full of men, I am literally the only female , other than they occasional customer. And even then those are far and few between as I work in what most would call a "heavily male populated workforce". It doesn't bother me, except where bathroom issues are concerned. We all know that men and women have very different bathroom practices, as well as expectations when it comes to cleanliness. Not saying all men or women are the same with bathroom hygiene, just different. But that's not the issue I am trying to get to...another blog another day! No I am talking about that time of the month. The most dreaded week of every woman's month. SHARK WEEK ... !  ... DUN DUN DUN ! Well that's what we have deemed it in my household anyways! To the point ...there is nothing more embarrassing than being the only female in an office and bein...