MommyWeighLess

It's tax season again, and I sat down tonight and began working on my taxes. As I was working through the dependents questions, one hit me right in the heart. The question asks if you had a child die the year before. You don't give that question much thought if you have never been to a child's funeral. That question made me stop and think about how fortunate I am to select no. And how not all of us are quite so lucky. The guilt that ate as me, when I selected no, knowing that a year ago my sister had to select yes. It has been almost a year since Nora was arrested for the 1st Degree murder of my nephew John. If you know us, you know all too well what happened to our baby. If not, you can scan back through several of my other blogs and get a pretty good representation of the nightmare our family has been living in. Photo Courtesy - MichelleRusell.com It's hard to not think about Nora. I have a very vivid imagination, and when I see her face in mugshots I pictur...

Every time I have started working on the one year anniversary blog about John's death I back space it away. I just can't put into words what it is I would like to say. So I've decided to just let it all flow freely, and whatever comes out this time, stays...please forgive my rambling... I miss him. So much. You know the saying "you miss them so much it hurts". It's true. I miss him so much it hurts. It has hurt since September 5th 2016. It hurts just as much now as it did then. I know people say time heals, and it will get easier, but it doesn't. I move along in my life, yes, but I find myself stuck in a cold PICU room often. I can literally walk myself down the hall at Monroe Regional in my mind. My dad standing there in the corner of the hospital all alone. My mom puffy eyed from crying, coming out of the double doors. John being pushed through on a gurney to his helicopter flight. So many wires. So many devices being used to keep his frail and broke...

Okay...so no...not really.. But wait! There's more! Alright...okay...so I have nothing other than the same old to offer when it comes to weight loss advice.. Buuuuuuuutt... I have lost almost 24 pounds in 3 months and I have only changed a couple of things. Well more like several things, but only a couple that pertain to what goes in my mouth (I'm talking food here for the pervs!!!) Back in October my son Evan, just turning 2 at the time, broke the only scale we had in our home. I threw it in the trash and it was just never a need, so I didn't buy a new one. I also thought what good does it do to step on a scale every morning when I know the numbers won't change, because I am doing nothing to change them. I was eating like crap, treating my body like crap, and really was a poor example of health to my children at the time. To Read My Excuses Look Below Or Bypass To The Next Paragraph: 1) I was being lazy . 2) The husband and I were struggling financially a...