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I am ashamed and disgusted with myself.

I have lost the love I once had found for my body...and I don't know how or when. It been over the past nine weeks. And it saddens me. I worked so hard before Evan was born to not only lose weight, but to learn how to love myself, and I now find myself back at square one. I'm ashamed. But determined none the less. I will fix this. So instead of a New Years Resolution...I'm making a Decmeber 28, 2013 resolution.

Starting today I am going to make myself accountable for myself. I will start tracking my food, working out daily, and do what I need to do to be the best me for me...and my family. I won't make excuses for my gain. I am to blame. I haven't been eating well, counting calories, or exercising.

I have gained close to 10 pounds over the course of nine weeks. I am now 204.0 pounds.

I have 44 pounds to lose to make my goal weight. I want to reach my goal by the end of May. Not a totally unrealistic goal but I won't be discouraged should it take longer. My daily intake will be 1500 calories or less, not including exercise calories. I will workout daily. I am starting with Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, I will complete all 3 phases. I will drink 8 (8oz) glasses of water everyday.

Today I tracked all my food and water. My calorie intake was 1407 and I met my water goal. I will do my workout after the kids go to bed, I should burn around 200-250 calories...so I can have a snack before bed.

Here's my food log:

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