Skip to main content

Our Lil' Pumpkin King

Every year, since Scarlett's first Halloween, we have made a trip to Dunnellon in Florida to the Pickin' Patch. This is a great place to take your family and enjoy some fall festivities. They have live pumpkins on the vine that you can cut yourself to take home and decorate. They also have a hayride, hay slides for kids, a corn maze, a sunflower field, and all kinds of good fun for the family. They have it set up beautifully for photo opportunities as well. I always make sure to take advantage of the scenery to get snaps of the kids.

It is priced so affordably that it is more than worth the trip. Anyone three and up is $3.00 and the pumpkins range from $4.00 to $30.00 plus. They have ornamental pumpkins, jack-o-lantern pumpkins, sunflowers, white pumpkins (which are BEAUTIFUL), and they also sell gourds. There are rows upon rows of pumpkins! The kids love it!

It's become a tradition for our family.

This year would have been John's first trip. He was so tiny and new last year that there was no way he could have gone, but this year...he would have been walking and talking...giving us a go for our money! It was overwhelmingly heartbreaking when we decided to go this year because we wouldn't get to take him. I have dubbed him Our Lil' Pumpkin King.

Preparing for a day trip like this with my kids is a challenge (Every mom just nodded.), so yesterday as I was getting things gathered, I dug up my camera. As I was scrolling through pictures, I found images of the day John was born. Laid out in all his naked glory, red face from screaming! How I cried...cry now thinking of his fat little self. As I sat there an idea popped into my head. What if we took some pictures of John with us to the pumpkin patch, and took pictures of him doing all the things he missed. Then my dear friend anxiety stopped me in my tracts! What if his Mommy doesn't like that idea?!

I have been very raw and honest in my blogs, but I also withhold a lot out of respect for my sister's privacy. Everything I do, I run by her, so I did the same with the picture idea. She loved it, told me she wanted the prints.

So load up, and away we go!






When we arrived we grabbed a wagon. They have tons of wagons there for customers to use. My first thought was John's little chunky butt should be sitting in the wagon with Evan. It was hard. His little ghost is everywhere. So I decided to take a picture of John riding in the wagon. It just isn't the same, but it was so profound to us nonetheless.


As we made our way through the ornamental pumpkins, I snapped a couple of pictures of Scarlett and Evan sitting on these big crazy things, and decided to snap some of them holding John's picture. I can't explain that empty chest feeling that consumes your heart. That's what we got. Pictures of pictures.

As we made our way through the patch I took countless pictures. Each time we stopped it took a few minutes, and it seemed we tied up the photo op areas more than anyone...but it's like people knew. They didn't ask. They didn't rush us, and they never got impatient. I suppose if you see a family taking pictures of a picture of a baby, it's safe to assume it's because he is not with them anymore.

Scarlett and Evan were thrilled to include John in our day. They both loved him so much.

At times, I caught Mommy standing off in the near distance with that far away something is missing look. I felt so guilty. Watching my babies run and play. Getting to love and hug on them all day. While she gets pictures of pictures. Never once has she given me reason to feel this way, I just do. It's something I will have to learn how to deal with. And even though her heart probably weighed a million pounds yesterday, she loved on the kids and enjoyed a beautiful fall day with us.

Missing John just doesn't describe the pain we feel. Virginia described it as an ache in her arms, sometimes physical, and most definitely internal. That accurately sums it up. Our arms are as empty as our hearts, yet we made it through another day. We made another great and happy memory, even through the pain, and John was with us even if not in person.


I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE REST OF THE HOLIDAYS...
WHAT WILL WE FIND JOHN DOING NEXT!?

Labels:

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 24, 2016 at 4:28 PM

    This was beautiful and heartbreaking all at once. :-(

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chobani, Bondi Bands, Allergies ...Oh My!

So recently I have had the amazing privilege and joy of trying out a couple of awesome products. I cannot wait to share either! GIVEAWAY TIME! I received a case of Chobani Flips to review...and as we all know yogurt is a staple in most healthy diets...especially mine. I have been a Chobani nut for over a year now. It is one of my favorite and most filling snacks, not to mention the protein ! It is a quick and easy breakfast if needed, or an awesome post-workout snack. And now that it is summertime it is super refreshing on a hot summer day! There were so many yummy types to try...and I could not wait to dig in! There were two of each, so 12 in total! They are fair in calories, low in sugar, and taste great. The day I got the case I did a little jig, and then hunted down a spoon. The first flip I sampled was the Almond Coco Loco ...                           IT WAS DIVINE!!!...and my favorite! Se...
22 comments
Read more

Polka Dot Grins

I have a little white polka dot keepsake box. I found it at Beall's Outlet , and it only cost $3.99. It was a great bargain, and it is absolutely adorable. Yet, it is a confusing little polka dot box. Full of some of the most cherished, loved, prized memories...and full of some of the most indescribably painful, horrible, unforgettable pain. It's a cute white box with gold polka dots on the outside, and a light pink interior. It has a gold bow on the front. It makes a beautiful dust collector that now resides on top of my dresser, taking precedence over makeup and hair accessories. It sat there empty for a few days before I decided to use it for the purpose in which I bought it; to store some of my most precious keepsakes. Inside are the few items that I get to hold in place of my nephew. The few physical possessions that remind me that he really did exist. That he was more than just a victim. That he was a little pain in the rear while incubating. That he spent the first n...
Post a Comment
Read more

One Year Later- No Less Heartache

Every time I have started working on the one year anniversary blog about John's death I back space it away. I just can't put into words what it is I would like to say. So I've decided to just let it all flow freely, and whatever comes out this time, stays...please forgive my rambling... I miss him. So much. You know the saying "you miss them so much it hurts". It's true. I miss him so much it hurts. It has hurt since September 5th 2016. It hurts just as much now as it did then. I know people say time heals, and it will get easier, but it doesn't. I move along in my life, yes, but I find myself stuck in a cold PICU room often. I can literally walk myself down the hall at Monroe Regional in my mind. My dad standing there in the corner of the hospital all alone. My mom puffy eyed from crying, coming out of the double doors. John being pushed through on a gurney to his helicopter flight. So many wires. So many devices being used to keep his frail and broke...
1 comment
Read more