MommyWeighLess

So much can be seen in those little eyes. I want to start this with a small disclaimer. I do not share this to open up a debate about religion or anyone else's beliefs. This is my personal opinion, and my personal experience. I don't need anyone trying to convince me of anything different, or what is right or wrong. I'm also not trying to disprove or prove anything...just know to keep an open mind as you read. One thing we've heard over and over and over since John passed, is that "God has a plan." Okay. If you are religious, or believe in God, I'm genuinely happy for you. But if you don't, hearing that over and over is like being told that in a world full of awful evil people, He wanted an innocent child. That is how that sounds to people like myself. Like God is a murderer. He predestined John to be killed by his babysitter. I used to believe in God when I was child. But as I grew up, I learned that science has disproved many things concern...

I have started this blog about ten different times. I know what I want to say, I just can't unscramble my thoughts enough to put them down coherently for everyone else to understand. As you all know, my nephew John died from a traumatic head injury he sustained while in the care of a babysitter, Nora Boles. By now most of you know the manner in which he received those injuries. If not, I will go into that shortly. A lot of people have asked us over and over how could we be so patient, when this happened months ago? We went to see John on Valentine's Day...I think he wanted in on the picture! Trust me, we are well aware of when John passed, and how quickly it went by. It seems like it took a long while, but to us, its been an awful blink of very over-cried and tired eyes. And all the same it feels like it has been an eternity since we got our very last cuddle with John. It has been 163 excruciating days. I could tell you to the minute how long since his little heart pe...