MommyWeighLess

Yesterday marked the 2 month anniversary since John passed away. That is eight weeks since we held him last...            ... 60 days since we saw him last...               ... 1,464 hours since we had our last kiss...                  ... 87,840 minutes since we held you close...                     ... 5,270,400 seconds of complete and utter heart break. It feels like an eternity. It is all still so unreal. I spent the day with Angela yesterday, just she and I. It was a really nice day considering where we have landed in life. We had a wonderful lunch together, did a ton of laundry, and just enjoyed each other's company. Angela lives with our parents, and they decided to go on a day trip, leaving her home alone yesterday. She is fine to be alone, but no one realized that it was the 2 month anniversary. It...

Ever been so tired that it feels like your eyelids are sand paper...and with each blink you lose another layer of moisture...? Toothpicks just are not enough to hold these steel doors that keep slamming together on my face. Yea . That's me today. Monday. Hope I don't nod off. *Startles awake* No... I was not snoring. Just checking that my nasal passages are clear. Ugh. Monday. Have I said that yet? I decided that it would be a great idea to stay up until three this morning. But now, I am really questioning my abilities to make good decisions...                                                ...especially when I know that I have to get up for work at six! I have never felt more inclined to the saying "Old enough to know better." My body is screaming for sleep. I wonder if I could sign up for a sleep study today? Will they give doctors notes...

So instead of going out for a long walk/run on this amazingly beautiful Saturday afternoon...I find myself cooped up in the car waiting for Dustin to finish playing in the junk yard. Thankfully there is a great breeze coming in through the windows, and the kids have decided they are going to behave. With that said...I am completely content. My man is in his dirty greasy car part element, my babies are cool and enjoying the peace and quiet of the country, and I am happily blogging while listening to the Gator vs. Tennessee game. Go Gators by the way! It is days like this that I am so thankful for the amazing life I have been provided. I am even more thankful for a healthy and happy family. And, in reality,  who could ask for more? How many people in the world are taking for granted this wonderful life we are each given today? How many people are stuck at work? How many are struggling with personal issues? Health issues? Money issues? Or just unhappy in general? I used to worry i...

I have been working out regularly, and by working out...I mean walking...while pushing 50-70 pounds worth of kids and stroller...not to mention the diaper bag...my bag...and whatever else they drag along. We usually walk a minimum of 1.5-5 miles every other day. But my weight is not coming off as fast as it did when I did weight training. And now that we are a one income family again, it just is not in the budget for a new gym membership, let alone the gallons of over priced gas it takes to get there! That all said...Dustin has an Uncle that has a really...really  nice in home gym. I have a really big green eyed monster in me right now. Anyways...I decided to call him up and see if he would mind if I came over a few days a week and used his weight equipment. Of course he said yes, and I went that evening. And the next day... I. COULD. NOT .WALK. I. COULD. NOT. SIT. I. COULD. NOT. LIFT. MY. ARMS. And I love every bit of it. I forgot how horribly awesome DOMS or del...

I have been slacking so bad when it comes to fitness. I started a full time data entry job about 9 weeks ago, and after working and having to come home and take care of business here...well I'll make my excuse now...I'm too tired to workout. Been eating poor...here's my next excuse...because I haven't made the time to plan well balanced meals. Tonight after looking at myself with disgust, I have set my alarm. I am going to get up at 6:30am every morning and go for a walk/jog. The kids will be asleep so I can't use them as an excuse, and starting the day off on a healthy note will help me be more conscious of my food decisions. I'm excited to get back into the groove of things, and sad I have been putting it off so long. So say a prayer I don't hit snooze on that silly little alarm.

As you may know I have two very beautiful and perfect reasons for getting healthy and changing my life. I do it not only for myself but for them, and Dustin, so that I am around to see all their great milestones and achievements in life. When I began this journey, I was the only one involved. I made myself separate meals, worked out alone, and didn't push to make it a family change. Then I began to realize that it was making it ten times harder for me. All the bad food laying around tempting me. Seeing them soak into the tv and couch. I knew if I didn't make this a family thing, Scarlett would be like me in 20 years. Overweight and trying to figure it all out via Google. I started slowly weeding junk out of their diets. We never allowed her soda or much candy anyways, so thankfully I didn't have to kick those bad habits. I started cooking more healthy meals with lots of veggies. Introduced her to quinoa...which she loves. Included her in the cooking process. And poor Dust...

So my blog isn't just about my weight loss journey, as roller coaster as its been lately, but life as a mommy in general. I crib trained Evan! Shooooo! It was easy. I was just being dramatic. With Scarlett we lived in a smaller house. Her bedroom was right next to ours. I could hear her through the wall. This house is much bigger and they're rooms are on the other side.  I was so nervous about having my babies so far away. Especially since Evan is so tiny. He's only 3 months old. Its flown by. My mom kept saying he needed to be in his room...daddy agreed...and I caved. I worried he wouldn't be comfy in such a big open space, but I laid him down and he went right to sleep. Score for mommy! Such a big boy already...where is the time going?

Every set of parents spends nine months arguing over names. That is a fact.  As a child I had this list of crazy names I would name my children should I ever have one, and needless to say...those were not the names we chose. Instead we went very traditional. Scarlett was named by her father. Scarlett Rose. ..who is a bright red head...no joke. And no, we did not name her for her hair color, that is purely coincidental. She was named before her birth. Daddy just came home with it one day. I wanted an Evelyn. But that is another story for another day. Our son on the other hand...we could not agree on anything. Back story...        We tried for several months to get pregnant before it finally happened. The very day I saw those double lines, a dear friend of my parents, Eva, passed away unexpectedly. She was a beautiful person and the world is a lesser place without her. I knew that God called her home to be a guardian angel for my unborn baby. I fought wit...