Thursday, December 18, 2014

Cookie Party Blues

My Grandmother In Law invited me to a cookie party this weekend in lieu of the approaching holiday. The rules to attend are that you have to bake and bring three dozen homemade cookies.  And in return you will leave with three dozen of everyone else's cookies.

Why me?

Why why why why?

I love my sweets, and I have done so well to avoid them.

I have found a couple of healthier cookie options and I'm going to test them out today and tomorrow. If they turn out okay I will definitely share.

The kids and I getting sick this week was almost a blessing in disguise. I haven't had much of an appetite and I will be able to enjoy a few treats without destroying all my progress these past two weeks. 

That progress would be a five pound loss! Whoop!

Happy Thursday y'all!

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Fell Off The Wagon & Hit My Head

Oh boy. I fell off the wagon. And I fell hard. Think I may have hit my head on the wheel on the way down. Because it has been at least a month since I worked out. And my is bad.

I forgot how much it sucks to look in the mirror and be disgusted with myself. I haven't been in this mental state of self loathing in a long time. I know I have been unhappy with my weight for a while, but last night as I rested my hands on my gut...I knew it was time to get my ass in gear and do something about it.

Do something to make myself feel good about me.

My husband tells me I'm beautiful. Barely keeps his hands to himself, and I could never love him enough for it. But I am so unhappy with my appearance and I know he pays for it. It is time to stop feeling sorry about myself.

It is time to lose these 53 pounds. 
It is time to gain my self respect back.
It is time to love myself again.
It is time to be a role model for my daughter.
It is time for change.

I am disgusting. 

And that is the last time I will feel that way or say that about myself again.