Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Fell Off The Wagon & Hit My Head

Oh boy. I fell off the wagon. And I fell hard. Think I may have hit my head on the wheel on the way down. Because it has been at least a month since I worked out. And my eating...well...it is bad.

I forgot how much it sucks to look in the mirror and be disgusted with myself. I haven't been in this mental state of self loathing in a long time. I know I have been unhappy with my weight for a while, but last night as I rested my hands on my gut...I knew it was time to get my ass in gear and do something about it.

Do something to make myself feel good about me.

My husband tells me I'm beautiful. Barely keeps his hands to himself, and I could never love him enough for it. But I am so unhappy with my appearance and I know he pays for it. It is time to stop feeling sorry about myself.

It is time to lose these 53 pounds. 
It is time to gain my self respect back.
It is time to love myself again.
It is time to be a role model for my daughter.
It is time for change.

I am disgusting. 

And that is the last time I will feel that way or say that about myself again.

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