MommyWeighLess

Every gal has her fat day. Every gal that read that just nodded in agreement. Every gal that just read that laughed because they nodded...at least I like to pretend in my head that you all nodded and laughed...and you might still be laughing now... But don't fret ...I won't quit my day job in hopes for my BIG Comedy Central break! And I won't quit dreaming about it either! I'm sitting at my desk today, looking down at my massive belly roll hanging over my snug feeling jeans feeling all kinds of un-sexy and fat. Yup...I feel fat today. I mean, I am fat everyday, but today is a real exception. And as I sit here thinking this, and reading back what I have typed about myself whether in dark humor or not, I am very ashamed of myself . I thought about deleting this and going a different direction but realized I have brought an issue up that needs addressed and I need to be honest. I'm ashamed that I am not thinner. Ashamed that I don't fit into today...

My battle with food is a battle I will fight for the rest of my life. I know this. I hate this. But I can win at this. I traded one eating disorder for another it seems. I went from overeating and eating my feelings, to obsessing over calories. MyFitnessPal helped me to lose weight. But I realize just how much calorie counting has consumed my life. So I am deleting MFP. I refuse to fall victim to a life of calorie obsessing.  These questions have plagued me daily for several years now: What my intake should be? How much did I burn? Does it fit my macros? Should I eat back my burned calories? What is the calories in this bite? Will I have enough for a small dessert? Will this blow my daily sugar/salt/fat? It is an endless bombardment of obsession over calories! I am done! I don't want food to run the rest of my life. I want to enjoy food without fear. But also respect my body to only give it what it needs, with the occasional treat on the side. I have decided I am going t...