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Labor, Delivery, and The Work Left To Do

Well, I have been MIA for a while. And I greatly apologize to anyone that follows me. I have been super busy preparing for baby, and now taking care of baby. Its amazing the difference between my two deliveries and I solely lay blame to my fitness and dietary changes.

My pregnancy this time around was easy peasy lemon squeezy! And labor and delivery...a breeze...

8 hours compared to 18.
4 pushes compared to a million.
No tearing compared to multiple stitches.
On my feet in less than 20 minutes.
Uterus completely retracted in 24 hours.
No weight gain whatsoever.

Those are just a few of the differences. And I owe it all to a new lifestyle. When they tell you remaining active during pregnancy makes for an easier delivery, they weren't kidding. Now... If only it prevented baby blues. I battled them with Scarlett, and it seems I am again. This time a little more severe, and a lot of that has to do with my very temperamental toddler. I worry I am teetering between baby blues and post partum depression or PPD. I have decided to be very open about this because...well I need and outlet...and there is no shame in needing help. Mental illness, should that be what's going on, is no laughing matter and it's not something that should be kept hidden. I will openly share if things progress or get better. Who knows, there may be someone out there that needs to know they aren't alone or crazy now that they have a new baby.

Whoever says being a mom is easy...they lied. This has been the most difficult week of my life. I have cried...a lot. I feel like all I do is fuss  at poor Scarlett because she's either running around screaming, tearing something apart, bugging Evan (Evan Alan Wayne Moore is little man's name by the way), or just being a terrible two year old. The guilt eats me alive. If it wasn't for my mom helping out so much, I'd probably go crazy. Dustin works mid shift which is 2pm-2am and it is hard. I sooooo look forward to his days off.

Besides crying and irritability, I have no appetite, am super fatigued, moody-ish, feel guilty and anxious that I'm being a bad mom when I send Scarlett to Grammy's house, feel overwhelmed by the amount of house work that's falling behind, and just overall kind of crappy.  My OB says he won't be too concerned with my feelings until I've reached the two weeks mark. If my feelings haven't subsided by then, there is a good chance of PPD which can be corrected in a number of ways. Either way, I will do whatever is necessary to be healthy.

Mental health is just as important as physical.

As far as physical health. Mine is great. My blood pressure and blood work are perfect. Now to get back to reaching my goal weight. And body. I took Scarlett to the playground for half an hour today while Evan slept and running around breathing in the fresh air felt amazing. So did spending quality time with my baby girl. I think we may be doing more outside while the weather is so amazing, since it did us both so much good. Its a great way to reintroduce myself to physical activity.  Small doses each day until I feel ready to take on more.

I have added a picture of my 10 day post partum body and weight. This is my starting point.

My goal weight is 155. I have 41.8 pounds to lose.

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